kids like you should be burning in hell
Источник
Before the main film there is a short film produced by Studio Ghibli. It looks like that old Thunderbirds show if that show were produced by a schizophrenic.
Shinji Ikari wakes up, not to find himself as a cockroach but rather to find himself as some sort of hospital patient except he is also being held at gunpoint and he has some sort of Battle Royale exploding necklace. His memories are fuzzy but he recognizes everyone on the aircraft he finds himself in (some sort of giant hang glider covered in tin foil.) BUT they are all really different. They act like they barely know him and also they are mean to him. Asuka shows up wearing an eyepatch because they needed to sell more 5000 yen figurines and I think Japan has a pirate fetish right now or something. She is super pissed off at him for some reason. Anyway, she gets in her Eva and does some shit to the spaceship to make it fly better or something and also there is this other girl I don't know, except she wears glasses and Asuka keeps calling her glasses. They make the spaceship enter tron world and then suddenly they are flying higher. Shinji is like "can I play too?" but they tell him he isn't allowed to Eva up anymore and also the necklace makes it so he can't.
Suddenly Rei shows up and punches a hole in the spaceship and helps Shinji escape. As he is leaving he is like "Why is Nerv fighting eachother?" but it turns out just about everyone left NERV to start their own band called wally or something.
She takes him back to the old NERV headquarters and the only other ones there are Shinji's dad, looking like some sort of pedophile Cyclops, and some guy named Kaoru. Shinji notices that Rei is acting even more awkward and robotic than usual and that she quit reading books. He is like "you love books!" and she is like "what is love?" (baby don't hurt me.)
Kaoru and Shinji play piano for 45 minutes of movie time.
Shinji keeps trying to get Rei to read and she keeps not doing it, so she thinks she is crazy or something. Then Shinji's dad tells him that That Rei is actually a clone, and something about some other brown haired Rei looking girl. I think she was either Rei's mom or Shinji's mom or both, but I'm not sure. Also Shinji had something to do with crashing a giant eva into a giant naked Rei which created the game 3rd Strike which ruined the world or something. I think this all happens in a previous movie.
Anyway, hearing all this causes Shinji to go through heroin withdrawals, much like in the movie Trainspotting. Kaoru suggests that they eva up and go down and check out the real world or something and Shinji is like "I can't they gave me this Battle Royale necklace." and Kaoru says "dumbass it comes right off." and takes it off him. He then puts it on himself because that makes sense.
Anyway they share the same Eva and go down to the earth via Tron-sequence, and Rei comes with them. The entire earth is covered in giant skulls. Asuka and Glasses show up and all four of them fight for some reason. Then Shinji and Kaoru's Eva becomes some sort of crazy religious imagery, after which Kaoru commits suicide by blowing up his necklace for some reason.
Lots of explosions and shit happen and somehow Asuka, Shinji, and Rei end up on Tattooine. They start walking towards what I can only assume was a Jawa sandcrawler and the movie ends with a nice "to be continued."
Cue credits and beautiful Utada Hikaru song.
Before the main film there is a short film produced by Studio Ghibli. It looks like that old Thunderbirds show if that show were produced by a schizophrenic.
Shinji Ikari wakes up, not to find himself as a cockroach but rather to find himself as some sort of hospital patient except he is also being held at gunpoint and he has some sort of Battle Royale exploding necklace. His memories are fuzzy but he recognizes everyone on the aircraft he finds himself in (some sort of giant hang glider covered in tin foil.) BUT they are all really different. They act like they barely know him and also they are mean to him. Asuka shows up wearing an eyepatch because they needed to sell more 5000 yen figurines and I think Japan has a pirate fetish right now or something. She is super pissed off at him for some reason. Anyway, she gets in her Eva and does some shit to the spaceship to make it fly better or something and also there is this other girl I don't know, except she wears glasses and Asuka keeps calling her glasses. They make the spaceship enter tron world and then suddenly they are flying higher. Shinji is like "can I play too?" but they tell him he isn't allowed to Eva up anymore and also the necklace makes it so he can't.
Suddenly Rei shows up and punches a hole in the spaceship and helps Shinji escape. As he is leaving he is like "Why is Nerv fighting eachother?" but it turns out just about everyone left NERV to start their own band called wally or something.
She takes him back to the old NERV headquarters and the only other ones there are Shinji's dad, looking like some sort of pedophile Cyclops, and some guy named Kaoru. Shinji notices that Rei is acting even more awkward and robotic than usual and that she quit reading books. He is like "you love books!" and she is like "what is love?" (baby don't hurt me.)
Kaoru and Shinji play piano for 45 minutes of movie time.
Shinji keeps trying to get Rei to read and she keeps not doing it, so she thinks she is crazy or something. Then Shinji's dad tells him that That Rei is actually a clone, and something about some other brown haired Rei looking girl. I think she was either Rei's mom or Shinji's mom or both, but I'm not sure. Also Shinji had something to do with crashing a giant eva into a giant naked Rei which created the game 3rd Strike which ruined the world or something. I think this all happens in a previous movie.
Anyway, hearing all this causes Shinji to go through heroin withdrawals, much like in the movie Trainspotting. Kaoru suggests that they eva up and go down and check out the real world or something and Shinji is like "I can't they gave me this Battle Royale necklace." and Kaoru says "dumbass it comes right off." and takes it off him. He then puts it on himself because that makes sense.
Anyway they share the same Eva and go down to the earth via Tron-sequence, and Rei comes with them. The entire earth is covered in giant skulls. Asuka and Glasses show up and all four of them fight for some reason. Then Shinji and Kaoru's Eva becomes some sort of crazy religious imagery, after which Kaoru commits suicide by blowing up his necklace for some reason.
Lots of explosions and shit happen and somehow Asuka, Shinji, and Rei end up on Tattooine. They start walking towards what I can only assume was a Jawa sandcrawler and the movie ends with a nice "to be continued."
Cue credits and beautiful Utada Hikaru song.